i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
