good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please don't give away my fajitas
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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