i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
