Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
