We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
