i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
