Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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