Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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