At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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