just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
