wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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