What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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