and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
