Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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