O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
