If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
