How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
