just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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