And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
