I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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