Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
