You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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