pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
