her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
