The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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