i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
