I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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