Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
