Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
