I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
