Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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