1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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