Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
