Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
