note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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