i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
