So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
