We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
