I'm passing your future prison.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
