I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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