when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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