thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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