Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
