on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
