omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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