even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
