I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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