Umm I'm too high to move.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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