Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
