omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
