bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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