I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
