I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
