..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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