i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
