New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
